Hopeless
by princess-katie
Summary: Oneshot. She was hopelessly in love with Albus, but he didn't notice. He never noticed.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. It is all JKR's.**

_Italics _= past.

According to .com, Dumbledore was born in 1881, so I'm going by that.

Hopeless

Cleaning Grimmauld Place over the summer, was not a task which 15 year old Hary and his friends, along with several members of the order, took great pleasure in.

However, certain discoveries made it a much more interesting task.

In a dusty old study a few doors down from the drawing room, Ron cursed as he tripped over something lying on the floor.

Hermione rolled her eyes,' Oh honestly, Ronald. I told you you ought to move everything off the floor to begin with. '

Ron shot her a glare which said he didn't apprecate her scolding,' Well it's not my fault if there's a big stupid book there. '

Harry quickly interevened by sweeping across the room and picking up the book. It was rather heavy, and looked as if it had long been forgotten. He opened the front cover carefully ot see a picture staring back ta him. He turned another page. Another photo.

' It's a photo album,' he told his two friends, slipping through the pages some more,' it's old. People from the Order. First time around, I think. '

The three of them looked at some of the pictures. There was one of Lily, James, Sirius, Remus and Peter. It had Harry's blood boil, seeing Peter standing there with the friends he was about to betray.

There was a picture of what was clearly Dumbledore, with what was clearly Moody.

Pictures of peope they vaguely recognised. Pictures of people they didn't know at all.

Some of them had writing on the back, detailing when the picture was taken, and who featured in it.

There was one photograph which seemed to stand out though, right at the end of the album. It wasn't anyone they recognised, and it was stand out because of the age of the people there - there were three of them - all wearing Hogwarts robes - Gryffindor robes.

Harry pulled the photograph out, and flipped it over, reading the caption on the back.

_Elphias, Albus and Ellen. Taken in 7th year by Griselda._

Hermione narrowed her eyes,' Dumbledore? ' she asked with a frown.

Harry inspected the photo closer, and saw that the boy in the middle did indeed have the same twinkling blue eyes as their headmaster. His hair was auburn and shoulder-length. On his left was a shorter boy with black hair. Harry deduced that it was Elphias Dodge, knowing the two had gone to school together. The girl on Dumbledore's other side also had black hair, and was smiling wide for the camera. Elphias was waving. Occasionally, the 17 year old Dumbledore would poke the girl - Ellen - in the arm, and she's stick her tounge out at him.

' Who d'you think she is? ' Ron asked looking at the girl.

' I don't know,' shrugged Hermione,' it was almost 100 years ago. She's probably long gone. '

And indeed she was.

She was long gone, and certainly no-one spoke of her any more. Hardly anyone knew who she was.

She was now a distant memory to the few people who remembered her. It had been her hopeless love that had killed her.

*****

_September 1st 1892_

_The Hogwarts express was buzzing with people excited about a new year at the school. In a carriage in the middle of the train, sat two nervous 11 year old._

_One was a dark haired boy who was pale and sickly looking - his first day at the magical school coincided with a nasty bout of dragon pox. No-one wanted to come near him, and all at the station had given him a wide berth, and disgusted glances._

_The only person sat with him was his twin sister._

_The train pulled into the station and everyone disembarked._

_On the platform, a short, squat man was shouting the first years to get into boats in threes._

_The twins got into one of the boats and were joined moments later by a thin, lanky boy with auburn hair and twinklling blue eyes. _

_He introduced himself as Albus Dumbledore. Ellen Dodge recognised the name - his father had been sent to Azkaban a while back for torturing muggles, or something. He was another one who had given a wide berth at the station. People were scared that he might be some sort of muggle-hater. But Ellen wasn't too bothered, and nor was Elphias. And Albus wasn't too bothered that Elphias was covered in unsightly blemishes._

_During the sorting, Ellen held her breath as she approached the hat. She hoped to be in Gryffindor: the rest of her family had been after all, and she didn't want to disappoint them. She was happy when the hat bellowed "GRYFFINDOR."_

_She took a seat at the table and watched as her brother was sorted into the house next. Then Albus was._

_From that moment on, the three of them were firm friends._

*****

_A year later, they were still good friends - they were known throughout the school as bene the three that stuck together. _

_Ellen remembered one night when she was sitting up in the common room. It was late, and she was still working on a Potions essay for the next day. She was stressing out that it would never be done._

_' I'm useless! ' she sighed._

_Whilst Elphias gave her a sympathetic glance and shook his head, Albus leaned over her shoulder._

_After a moment, he smiled in amusement, his eyes twinkling,' Give it here,' he said' I'll make a few corrections on it. '_

_Ellen smiled weakly as he took it from her, ' Have I ever told you you're brilliant? '_

_Albus shrugged,' Frequently. '_

_*****_

_It was 3rd year. Ellen was upset because an aunt she was particularly close to had died. When she was upset, Albus was the one who patted her back kindly and made soothing noises. The one who told her everything was going to be alright. _

_*****_

_It was 4th year. _

_In the common room there was a collective groan from the boys and collective flurry of excitement from the girls, as the head of house announced a Christmas ball would be coming up._

_' Who're you going to the ball with? ' Ellen asked hours later._

_Her brother shrugged,' I was thinking of asking Griselda. '_

_Griselda Marchbanks was a friend of theirs, and shared the dorm with Ellen._

_' What about you, Al? ' asked Ellen, her voice softer._

_Albus shrugged, oblivious to her hopefilled eyes._

_Ellen sighed - why was he so unaware of her existance?_

_The week before the ball he came rushing up to her. He hastily told her he'd still not found a date, and she was the only one left. That, she had not liked. She'd told him in no uncertain terms that she was not a last resort - and besides, she already had a date thank you very much, goodnight._

_When he left, she sighed, leaning against the door of the dormitory. _

_Why? Why did he only think of her when no-one else was available? _

_If only he'd asked a few weeks back . . . _

_*****_

_Halfway through 5th year, Ellen starting dating James Hewett, a 6th year Ravenclaw. _

_She was in the library one Saturday afternoon with Albus when James approached her._

_He kissed her lips full-on and told her he'd see her that evening after dinner._

_When he left, Albus shook his head,' I dont think I like him,' he said._

_Ellen narrowed her eyes,' What do you care? 'she demanded, rather hostile._

_Ellen knew perfectly well that Albus didn't like her in the way she wanted - in fact, he didn't even seem to think of any of the girls._

_Later on in the year, she and James split up, and she was upset about it._

_Albus was the one who told her,' You'll find someone better, El. You deserve someone so much better. '_

_But then he'd walked away and left her wondering why he couldn't see that _he _was the one for her._

_*****_

_In 6th year, she came across him kissing Allison Bennett. _

_It didn't progress into a relationship, and he never spoke of her - he didn't even know she'd seen him._

_But the jealousy that overcame her suprised her, and as much as she had already known she had a strong attraction to Albus, she worried that it was too strong._

_*****_

_Then it was 7th - last - year. The boys were making plans for after graduation - they were going totravel to Greece._

_Ellen on the other hand, was still figuring out what to do._

_' How about Healing? ' Elphias suggested._

_She pulled a face._

_' Banking? '_

_' Ugh. '_

_' Working for the ministry? '_

_' Doing what exactly? '_

_It was Albus who suggested teaching. He reminded her she'd always been very good at Transfiguration._

_And soon she was applying for a course to start teacher training the following year._

_*****_

_Along came Graduation._

_They went through a ceremony, accepted scrolls, listened to speeches, and then partied afterwards._

_' We did it! ' a glowing Ellen cried as she threw one arm around Elphias, and Albus laid a hand one her shoulder, for a moment, she laid her hand over his and smiled up at him._

_*****_

_A week later, Albus' mother died. Albus and Elphias cancelled their plans to go away - Albus needed to stay and look after his younger brother, and especially his sister. _

_Elphias and Ellen stood on either side of him during the funeral._

_Afterwards, Ellen offered her words of comfort, wishing there was more she could do. Some part of the 17 year old's mind wanted him to register how much she cared, and for him to suddenly return the affection._

_*****_

_Elphias went off travelling whilst Albus stayed at home, and Ellen awaited September when she could begin her further training in Tranfiguration. _

_She visited Albus often, but that summer - straight after graduation - he made a new friend._

_He was the great-nephew of one of the neighbours, and he was the same age. Gellert Grindewald, was his name. He had the same interests as Albus, and they were on the same level._

_Ellen knew she coulnd't offer her friend the same conversations that Gellert could. Gellert and Albus were both intellectuals, with knowledge full of philosophy and the great questions of the world. _

_Beofre she knew it, Ellen was visiting less. Because when she did visit, Gellert was there, and the two boys were busy studying together - she didn't know what they were studying - she knew better than to ask, she wouldn't understand half of what they said, in any case._

_It was in that summer, that Ellen felt we were growing losing Albus._

_He was destined for better things than some plain girl who was going to end nowhere special._

_*****_

_One day, Ellen was around at the Dumbledore's house again._

_She and Albus sat in the kitchen over a glass of butterbeer._

_' I'm suprised you had the time for me today,' she told him,' where's Gellert today? '_

_Albus smiled at her,' He's had to take Bathilda somewhere, but rest assured I've not forgotten you, my friend. '_

_She sighed,' Feels like it,' she told him, taking a swig of her drink,' you're always with him now. '_

_And for a moment, she thought she saw a look pass over her friend's face. The same wistful look that she herself had been giving out for years. Then she told herself that was ridiculous. . . wasn't it?_

_*****_

_When Albus turned 18 at the end of the summer, Ellen wanted to do something to celebrate. Gellert told her Albus hated the fuss, so she sent him a card instead. _

_She spent a long time deciding how many kisses was appropriate in a card to a friend. Then deciding if she should put across some kind of message about how she felt for him._

_Then she decided it was hopless._

_If he hadn't caught on by now, he never would._

_*****_

_Then it happened._

_It was the end of September._

_She called around one day to find the house in darkness. Albus was sitting in the living room, eyes closed, whilst Aberforth shut himself up in his room. Gelllert was not in sight._

_She demanded that Albus tell her what happened._

_The truth was not pleasant._

_He and Gellert had been making plans to go off somewhere. Aberforth pointed out it wasn't in Ariana's best interests. Gellert used the Cruciatus Curse of Albus' younger brother, and it soon progressed into a three way duel between the boys._

_Ariana had tried to intervene, and was hit by a curse. It was unknown who had killed her._

_Ellen sat down on the sofa, and put on arm around Albus' shoulder. She told him everything would work out OK, and everything else she could think of._

_It was just like Kendra's death two months earlier._

_When she ran out of things to say, she kissed his cheek and told him to let her know if he needed anything._

_She left the house with the full intention of going home to the small house she lived in with her mother and aunt, but a figure leaving Bathilda Bagshot's house._

_It was dark by now, and hardly anyone was around._

_' Gellert? ' Ellen asked, as the figure almost passed her by._

_He whipped around to face her, expression stony cold._

_' I heard what happened,' she told him quietly._

_He glared,' It's nothing to do with you. '_

_She raised her voice suddenly,' Nothing to do with me? Al's my best friend, and you've killed his sister! And tortured his brother! '_

_' There's no way of knowing that I killed her,' Grindewald told her._

_She narrowed her eyes,' Whether you cast the curse or not, you are ultimeately responsible. '_

_There was a brief pause, before she continued,' How could you? He's your friend! You're a thick as thieves! How could you do such a thing? '_

_' Albus was forgetting about the cause. They were standing in the way of the greater good,' he replied simply._

_' You're despicable,' she spat, turning on her heel._

_A harsh laugh caused her to turn around to face him once more,' You're one to talk,' he mocked,' you're pathetic. You think I haven't noticed the way you fawn over him? And he doesn't even notice you, does he? Pathetic. '_

_She said nothing._

_He continued,' The best thing you could do is leave. He doesn't need you hanging off his every word, waiting for him to notice you. He wouldn't even care if anything happened to you. '_

_' That's not true,' she whispered,' and I'd stick by him for anything - whether he loves me or not.' _

_' You're a nothing. Your love is hopeless, and you're clueless. '_

_' Not quite, Gellert, not quite,' was her reply, to his suprise,' I know more about you than you think. Aberforth found some of your plans, and showed them to me. Some of the more . . . viscious, shall we say? I wonder what Al would say if we saw them - I'm willing to bet you haven't shown him these ones yet. . . camps for squibs and muggleborns? It's disgusting. '_

_Grindewald glared,' You will _not _speak of this to anyone else.' _

_' Won't I? ' she challenged,' what kind of friend would I be if I didn't tell Al exactly what you've been up to? '_

_Grindewald shook his head,' Your loyalty and love for him will be your end. '_

_And that was before the green flash of light obscured her vision, ending a life of almost 18 years._


End file.
